Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
