I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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