theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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