I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
