arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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