Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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