Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
