I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
