ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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