I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
