I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
