omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think a kid would responsible me up
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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