I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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