We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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