Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
