I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm passing your future prison.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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