yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
