theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
