is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
