I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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