I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
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