I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
