Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize