you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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