how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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