woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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