If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
