we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize