You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
