well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
