i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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