just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
