doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
