That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
