i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
