Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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