my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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