I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Enjoy the penises
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
