Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
