please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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