Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize