i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
