Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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