so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
