I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
