? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
