Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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