So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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