another moral hangover. fuck.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
