I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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