UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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