I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
