I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize