if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
