Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
