I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
