My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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