Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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