We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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