Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
