He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it glows. i had to have it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
