1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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