would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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