i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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