Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
